07
May
It is common for new widows to go through a phase of multiple repairs, paperwork and mundane things to do during the first 6 or so months of our journey. Suddenly everything seems to go wrong, as if we did not have enough with losing our spouse to then, find that our washing machine breaks down or you have to sell the car, or issues that really push you out of your comfort zone; add on top of that all the legal and financial paperwork we are required to do related to our beloved’s passing. Sometimes you feel like telling God: Are you f….. kidding me? you get the idea..
I am somehow passed that phase now, and looking back, I realised that all those things kept me moving, kept me alive throughout that dark period in my life. They gave me something to do, even if all I had to do that day was to get dressed and open the door to the plumber. During those moments, I focused on the matter at hand and not on my pain.
All those mundane tasks also made me more independent; I learnt new tricks and made me more comfortable around legal paperwork. Repairing things at home, lead me to re-landscape my garden, and refurbished a few rooms including the bathroom, which resulted on me falling in love with my home after previously thinking of selling it and moving abroad as long as I could run as far as possible and hide away. They kept me from making wrong decisions as I was distracted with something else.
I was also explained that somehow, we are being entertained (to put it in a nice way) with stuff whilst our new life is being formed, for example, you may find a new hobby, or meet someone during that process that would lead you into some new activity or path. What I am trying to say is that all this nuisance has a purpose, to teach us something, to make time for things to happen or to keep us alive and moving.
This is my take in, have you experienced anything similar?
1B Ballinteer Road , Dundrum, Dublin