Triggers

When we lose someone we love, we experience triggers that sets us back. In the beginning, they could come from anywhere and several times a day, a receipt, a yogurt in the fridge, his shoes by the door.

But as time goes by, these could come further apart from each other. We can also see them coming like anniversaries, birthdays, special occasions or milestones. We may even be able to prepare for them and then let them pass. The problem comes when we start feeling better, and suddenly, something sets us back, we may feel defeated once again, out of nowhere, no date, no special occasions, and there are no more yogurts or shoes by the door to blame.

In mindfulness, we learn to identify our emotions when we feel off. We observe the emotion, call it by its name, we recognize that it is there, then we let it pass and find our peace again. It works in a very similar way for triggers.

When you feel that you are making progress and suddenly, something sets you off and you have no clue where it came from, you could apply the STOP technique:

S – for STOP what you are doing

T – Take a breath, take a couple of slow breaths in and out..

O – Observe your emotions, your feelings, what are you feeling: frustration, anger, sadness, anxiety – call it by its name, reflect on what could possibly have triggered you? you may have to reflect on the previous week to find the root cause, when you find it..

P – Proceed with something that can support you in the present moment; maybe you can do something about the trigger and resolve it (maybe it is something that requires fixing), but if it doesn’t or you have no control over it, then take a 5 mins break, go for a walk, a bath, or do whatever makes you feel better like enjoying a cup of coffee, the intention is to bring you back to the here and now

The simple act of recognizing the emotion and finding the cause can have a calming effect in your mind and body.

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